


Facing A Fear

by a_mind_at_work



Series: Anxiety Laf [13]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Laf, Fear, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 08:38:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11414223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mind_at_work/pseuds/a_mind_at_work
Summary: Follow me on tumblr for more! @undiscoveredstory





	Facing A Fear

“It’s not that big a deal,” Alexander whined. “And we really want you there. We’ve got your back! There will be no tumbling over the cliff, I promise.”

“You do not understand what you ask of me,” Laf said with a sigh. He sank onto his bed and clutched a pillow to his stomach. “Heights have terrified me since I was a child, mon ami.”

“But it’s a common fear, right?” Alex said. He swayed on his feet, obviously eager to get started on the hike he, Laurens, and Herc were going on.

“Common or not, it is my fear,” Laf grumbled.

“We want you there, Laf,” Alex said. “And if you don’t want to go high, then you can stop. One of us will hang back with you. Most of the hike is on a trail that’s very far from any cliffs or soaring heights.”

Lafayette sighed and flopped back onto his bed. He knew he rarely got his way when Alexander was involved. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure why he bothered trying.

“Fine.” He swallowed his fears of ruining the trip, of making whoever stayed back with him hate him for keeping them from the amazing view.

 _Why can’t you just be normal?_ he asked himself.

Alex was jumping up and down in excitement. “Perfect! Get changed and we’ll head out!” 

Laf nodded and swallowed around the lump in his throat.

 _Just be normal,_ he thought. _For one afternoon, just be normal._

***

They had been hiking for an hour and a half through beautiful greenery. Herc had been cursing and slapping himself, trying to stop bugs from biting him, for nearly the entire hike.

“I don’t understand why you won’t wear the bug spray,” Laurens said after Herc let out a particularly startling stream of expletives. 

“That natural shit smells awful,” Herc panted.

“Well the smell washes off in the shower,” John said with a smirk. “Those bug bites will hang around just a bit longer.”

“We all didn’t grow up in a swamp, Laurens,” Herc quipped. 

John shrugged. “When I have no bug bites tonight and you’re covered in them you’ll _wish_ you grew up in a swamp.”

“We’re almost there!” Alex exclaimed. “According to the map we don’t have much longer.” He turned to Laf. “Do you want to stop?”

“Yeah, I’ll stay,” John offered. “I’ve hiked it before,” he said with a shrug.

Laf had been thinking of this moment for the entire hike. He constantly went back and forth between what he wanted to do. One moment panic seized him and taking another step, let alone getting up to the cliff, seemed impossible. The next moment he wanted to race up it with his friends and peer over the edge. And now, after all this thinking, he had to decide.

“Remember,” Alex said. “We got your back either way. I’m just glad you came with us!” He grinned at his adoptive brother.

Something in what Alex said made the decision for Laf. He smiled at his friends.

“I will go,” he said. “I want to try.” 

His friends erupted into whoops and hollers. John looped his arm through Laf’s as they hiked the final quarter mile. 

“We’re almost there,” Alex said not long after. “You sure you want to?” 

Laf took a deep breath and nodded. Herc looped his arm through Laf’s free one, and slowly they made their way to the cliff. 

Laf gasped when the view came into sight. At first he felt dizzy with fear, like he might pass out or throw up, or maybe both at the same time, but then Laurens squeezed his arm and Herc muttered _damn,_ and Alex snapped a million photos with his phone and everything felt so _normal,_ so _peaceful,_ Laf could hardly believe it. 

“What do ya think?” John asked.

“I think I am grateful to have friends who never give up on me,” Lafayette said softly. 

“We could never give up on you,” Alexander piped up.

“Yeah, never!” John echoed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Herc added.

Silence descended upon them as they took in the view. In that moment, Lafayette swore the sky stretched into oblivion, and that a part of him would always be on that cliff, looking at that sky, with his friends by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr for more! @undiscoveredstory


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